Going Home
I tend to feel like lately that I'm wasting the Lord's time and money by being on a mission right now because I feel like we are teaching no one and no one is progressing. But then I'm reminded that this, me being on a mission, is my wife and motherhood boot camp. I am not only on a mission for the people I will meet in this year and a half. Perhaps more importantly, I am here to help in the conversion process of my family: my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, myself. In the most recent face to face Elder Christensen said something that I loved. He and Elder Soares were taking about the importance of having the temple, the Lord in your marriage. a phrase that really stood out to me was, "commit to take each other home to God". On my mission I am better learning how to take myself, my husband, and my children home to God.
10 hours later
After reading my patriarchal blessing, studying the Book of Mormon, talking and praying with my family, talking with my mission president, talking and praying with my companion, talking with my sister training leaders, and pouring my heart out to Heavenly Father I have decided to go home to my family in St. George, Utah. I feel so at peace. I never thought that talking and praying with my family about going home could be such a spiritual experience. It was a spiritual experience because the Spirit is continually confirming to me that it is right. My full-time mission is nearing an end. It isn't coincidence that I prayed this morning for Heavenly Father to guide me along the repentance or changing process of treating myself with greater charity, patience, and kindness. The Spirit bore witness to me that being home is part of that process. Before coming to North Carolina I learned a lot about helping others. Being in North Carolina I've learned a lot about helping others. I've learned that my life is unfolding perfectly. I've also learned that Heavenly Father needs me to take care of me. I've learned that the Spirit speaks to me in happiness and peace. The Lord wants me to be happy. The Lord wants me to have peace. He loves me.
5 hrs later
I feel so at peace. Sister Cobb told me something today, "Your talents are about to bloom" then imagine her cute smirk she always does after saying something profound. I can feel that. Upon returning home I want to take time to work on my poems and songs.
30 minutes later
talked with President Holland. I still feel peace when I think of going home. There is an anxiety that comes when I think I am going to be staying here. I desire to do the Lord's will and I feel that He needs me to go home right now. I am fasting and praying and "moving forward" in that direction. My entire family is fasting and praying as well. I feel that the Lord's will has been made known to me, but I will be open to further direction and revelation.
10 hours later
After reading my patriarchal blessing, studying the Book of Mormon, talking and praying with my family, talking with my mission president, talking and praying with my companion, talking with my sister training leaders, and pouring my heart out to Heavenly Father I have decided to go home to my family in St. George, Utah. I feel so at peace. I never thought that talking and praying with my family about going home could be such a spiritual experience. It was a spiritual experience because the Spirit is continually confirming to me that it is right. My full-time mission is nearing an end. It isn't coincidence that I prayed this morning for Heavenly Father to guide me along the repentance or changing process of treating myself with greater charity, patience, and kindness. The Spirit bore witness to me that being home is part of that process. Before coming to North Carolina I learned a lot about helping others. Being in North Carolina I've learned a lot about helping others. I've learned that my life is unfolding perfectly. I've also learned that Heavenly Father needs me to take care of me. I've learned that the Spirit speaks to me in happiness and peace. The Lord wants me to be happy. The Lord wants me to have peace. He loves me.
5 hrs later
I feel so at peace. Sister Cobb told me something today, "Your talents are about to bloom" then imagine her cute smirk she always does after saying something profound. I can feel that. Upon returning home I want to take time to work on my poems and songs.
30 minutes later
talked with President Holland. I still feel peace when I think of going home. There is an anxiety that comes when I think I am going to be staying here. I desire to do the Lord's will and I feel that He needs me to go home right now. I am fasting and praying and "moving forward" in that direction. My entire family is fasting and praying as well. I feel that the Lord's will has been made known to me, but I will be open to further direction and revelation.
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