Rosalyn
On July 31st of 2019 I went on my third exchange to Fort Bragg. Meaning I switched companions for the day and went to a different area of North Carolina. Sister Browning was my companion for the day. It was very refreshing to get out of the Pinehurst area for a moment. I had been to Fort Bragg a few months before on my very first exchange and we had gone to a nursing home which brought back so many wonderful memories of visiting Florene at home and singing to sweet old people (as well as some grouchy ones that were sweet by the end). I had also gone to visit a gal named Rosalyn who had started to take the missionary discussions.
Flash forward to July 31st and deja vu seems to occur. We again go to the nursing home AND visit Rosalyn. Little did I know that this deja vu day would become a vavavoom day to remember. We stopped in front of Rosalyn's home and Sister Browning explained that they hadn't felt the Spirit at Rosalyn's last lesson, she was coming up with many excuses to keep her from getting baptized, and on top of that she hadn't returned any of their texts or calls in the last week. I asked, "Why do you think she's not returning your calls?" "Well, she suffers with depression and whenever she's in a low she doesn't like to talk to anyone. So I assume she's in a low right now, but that's exactly when we want to help her you know?" I then felt a little awkward going to visit Rosalyn when she was in a low. Having been in one of those lows just that week I felt bad bothering her. Yet immediately after that thought the Spirit said to me, "She needs you today though." So we went up to the door. Sassy Rosalyn opened up the door of course and her first words were, "You know I don't like to be bothered when I'm struggling." Sister Browning replied, "I know, but Rosalyn I just really felt like we still needed to visit you today. I have missed every lesson with you because I have been gone with other missionaries lately." With a sigh Rosalyn finally said, "Fine. Come in."
The house was exactly as I remembered it. She had paintings of a beautiful black woman sitting at a piano and a man playing it. Rosalyn asked my name and she actually said it right. I then told her I had quickly visited her the last time I came to Fort Bragg. We sat on two couches in an L shape. Rosalyn on one, Sister Browning and I on the other, with Sister Browning sitting closest to Rosalyn. As we sat down Rosalyn began to explain to Sister Browning what the depression felt like and why she didn't want her over. Mind you I myself was still getting out of a really bad low and so my feelings were still fresh. I had especially felt frustrated during this time because I could never find the words to explain to my companion how I was feeling, they were new emotions and feelings I could not explain and I wanted to be able to so bad so my companion could better understand. I was altogether frustrated and felt very alone, though I was surrounded by people each day. As Rosalyn continued to explain her experience and feelings tears began to stream down my cheeks. I felt as if this woman was me finally finding the words to describe everything. Rosalyn continued, "It's not that I don't want to be around you. I don't want you to be around me. I don't want to hurt you when I'm in this state. I don't want people to be around me because I don't want to hurt them." I then began to weep. Sister Browning had been blind to my tears as she was turned toward Rosalyn, but Rosalyn saw every one. Rosalyn lovingly looked at me and said, "You understand don't you?" And of course the tears are steadily flowing now.
She then asked me to share how long I had been dealing with depression and how I was doing. I explained how she had said the words that I had been seeking to express, but couldn't. I then had the opportunity to share the story of the blind man whom Christ healed. ...... I testified to her of how we each have our own miracle that Christ is working through us. We then naturally were brought to the subject of baptism and recieving the Holy Ghost.
Flash forward to July 31st and deja vu seems to occur. We again go to the nursing home AND visit Rosalyn. Little did I know that this deja vu day would become a vavavoom day to remember. We stopped in front of Rosalyn's home and Sister Browning explained that they hadn't felt the Spirit at Rosalyn's last lesson, she was coming up with many excuses to keep her from getting baptized, and on top of that she hadn't returned any of their texts or calls in the last week. I asked, "Why do you think she's not returning your calls?" "Well, she suffers with depression and whenever she's in a low she doesn't like to talk to anyone. So I assume she's in a low right now, but that's exactly when we want to help her you know?" I then felt a little awkward going to visit Rosalyn when she was in a low. Having been in one of those lows just that week I felt bad bothering her. Yet immediately after that thought the Spirit said to me, "She needs you today though." So we went up to the door. Sassy Rosalyn opened up the door of course and her first words were, "You know I don't like to be bothered when I'm struggling." Sister Browning replied, "I know, but Rosalyn I just really felt like we still needed to visit you today. I have missed every lesson with you because I have been gone with other missionaries lately." With a sigh Rosalyn finally said, "Fine. Come in."
The house was exactly as I remembered it. She had paintings of a beautiful black woman sitting at a piano and a man playing it. Rosalyn asked my name and she actually said it right. I then told her I had quickly visited her the last time I came to Fort Bragg. We sat on two couches in an L shape. Rosalyn on one, Sister Browning and I on the other, with Sister Browning sitting closest to Rosalyn. As we sat down Rosalyn began to explain to Sister Browning what the depression felt like and why she didn't want her over. Mind you I myself was still getting out of a really bad low and so my feelings were still fresh. I had especially felt frustrated during this time because I could never find the words to explain to my companion how I was feeling, they were new emotions and feelings I could not explain and I wanted to be able to so bad so my companion could better understand. I was altogether frustrated and felt very alone, though I was surrounded by people each day. As Rosalyn continued to explain her experience and feelings tears began to stream down my cheeks. I felt as if this woman was me finally finding the words to describe everything. Rosalyn continued, "It's not that I don't want to be around you. I don't want you to be around me. I don't want to hurt you when I'm in this state. I don't want people to be around me because I don't want to hurt them." I then began to weep. Sister Browning had been blind to my tears as she was turned toward Rosalyn, but Rosalyn saw every one. Rosalyn lovingly looked at me and said, "You understand don't you?" And of course the tears are steadily flowing now.
She then asked me to share how long I had been dealing with depression and how I was doing. I explained how she had said the words that I had been seeking to express, but couldn't. I then had the opportunity to share the story of the blind man whom Christ healed. ...... I testified to her of how we each have our own miracle that Christ is working through us. We then naturally were brought to the subject of baptism and recieving the Holy Ghost.
"Rosalyn," I said, "I don't know what it's like to deal with depression and NOT have the gift of the Holy Ghost, but I imagine it helps me. I am excited to hear from you when you're baptized and recieve that gift if it will make a difference for you. Will you let me know when it happens?" "Yes, I will let you know.....okay, sister when am I getting baptized?"
We went into that lesson planning to teach about the word of wisdom. In that lesson we were prompted to love her. What came out of that lesson was a broken and humble woman commiting to be baptized on August 23rd as a sign of her devotion to her Savior and to be prepared to recieve the sacred gift of the Holy Ghost.
President Holland was so right in saying, "sometimes your goal that week is to love them".
Love others as Christ does.
S. Kennedy (from St. George, Aida fangirl), Hansen (MTC, partial comp), Denning (current comp and future maid of honor), Hayward, Browning, Andrews, Binger (my kindred spirit)
Follow the promptings of the Spirit promptly and your life as well as countless others will be blessed.
wishing Diana (person being taught) luck on her finals at Ft. Bragg
We went into that lesson planning to teach about the word of wisdom. In that lesson we were prompted to love her. What came out of that lesson was a broken and humble woman commiting to be baptized on August 23rd as a sign of her devotion to her Savior and to be prepared to recieve the sacred gift of the Holy Ghost.
President Holland was so right in saying, "sometimes your goal that week is to love them".
Love others as Christ does.
S. Kennedy (from St. George, Aida fangirl), Hansen (MTC, partial comp), Denning (current comp and future maid of honor), Hayward, Browning, Andrews, Binger (my kindred spirit)
Follow the promptings of the Spirit promptly and your life as well as countless others will be blessed.
wishing Diana (person being taught) luck on her finals at Ft. Bragg
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