A reminder to myself

 I desire to be a righteous daughter of God and do all that is asked of me, and struggle to tell people no.  One, because I know the Lord has blessed me with a creative mind that can usually figure out a way to do anything asked of me, and I should be using those talents he has given me to benefit his children.  And two, because I want to serve the Lord and my brothers and sisters and have been taught my entire life that you should always so yes to opportunities to serve.  I do feel though that my family suffers when I begin to sink with the burden's and stresses placed on my mind, and then have nothing left to give my family or take my frustrations out on them.  Well, I finally said No.  The bishop came up to me in the hall at church a few weeks ago and asked "What's your stress level right now?'  I should have responded with "Well, I am in charge of sharing time this entire month, my kids are just starting school, I am potty training, the primary program is coming up in 3 weeks, I am singing in church next Sunday, and my entire primary presidency and half of our primary workers are being changed in the next month." But I said "I am doing fine."  He then proceeded to ask me to speak in church the following Sunday.  That was when I sunk, and I think he could see it in my eyes.   I was completely taken by surprise because I have spoken in church every 6 months since we moved into this ward 3 years ago, the last of which was 5 months ago, and I will be speaking again next month as part of the primary program.  There is no possible way he is asking me to speak again!  The thought of speaking in church, doing sharing time, and singing next week was so completely overwhelming that I could not even respond for a few seconds.  I had never said no to an invitation to speak in church before, and I was about to say yes, before I finally realized I had nothing left to give!  I proceeded to tell him some of my other obligations next week and finally answered with "I will do it if there is no one else who can do it." He agreed, and walked away. I felt totally guilty!!! Particularly the next Sunday as I sat in sacrament meeting and the speaker (1st counselor in the bishopric) who should have been me began by saying "we should never say no to an opportunity so speak in church."  I knew he was speaking directly to me.  And I thought to myself " I could have done it, I should have said yes." 

My dad said he thought of me during a course taught at BYU Education Week where the story below was shared. He shared it with me and it was just what I needed to hear.  If emotional health and strength of loving relationships are at risk, it is okay to say no!  Maybe others around us will see us as unfaithful servants, but no one knows the burdens placed upon another and when they are at their "Plimsoll line."  Only we can judge that for ourselves and help to see that in others in our family.  

Where much is given much is required, but don't require too much of yourself, or you will sink!